Stay With Me
by spyder-m
Summary: Between recent backlash against the Phantom Thieves, the discovery of her sister's Palace, Akechi's plot to capture Ren and their plans to thwart it; there was a lot weighing on Makoto's mind. A seemingly routine trip to Mementos uncovers just how much of a toll it was taking. Written for Day 3 of Shumako Week 2020: Arsene&Johanna / Metaverse.


Stay With Me

There had been a lot weighing on Makoto's mind over the last few weeks.

It had started with the discovery of Sae's palace.

Makoto had suspected something may have been amiss from the way sis had been behaving lately, growing increasingly tense; blinded by her drive to excel and lashing out at those who stood in her way.

She had wanted to brush it off as a product of the pressure her workload was putting her sister through. Though, after what she had seen, what she had learnt of the Metaverse, she could no longer delude herself.

The woman who raised her following their father's death; the only family she had left; was a shadow of her former self, distorted beyond recognition.

Not long after, they had learnt of Akechi's plot to have Ren arrested, to lead him into the underground interrogation room and ultimately...

She and the rest of the Phantom Thieves had carefully plotted a countermeasure. Yet, for every variable, every potential outcome they had considered, Makoto couldn't help but worry that there was something they had overlooked.

That, despite their best efforts, Ren would be led to his death.

It wasn't unlikely, given everything that they had to keep their minds on. Their usual deadline, the recent backlash against the Phantom Thieves, the other Metaverse user, Akechi's scheme... It was overwhelming.

There were more issues than they could keep track of, let alone devote adequate attention to resolving. Even divided up amongst all eight of the Phantom Thieves.

With time, the pressure was smothering Makoto. Yet she shrouded it beneath a brave face. As the group's advisor, they relied on her for guidance. She couldn't let them know that she was worried. That would only shake the group's morale further. The doubt would spread.

Makoto was thankful for the trip they had taken into Mementos, even if it was only a routine stop to clear out weaker shadows.

Joker had suggested they take the time to work with Akechi. In the hopes they would meld together more effectively as a unit in the palace, up against deadlier opponents.

Though, in truth, she suspected it was for her benefit. That he had noticed her distress.

Normally, such a detour would see Makoto chastising the rest of the team for not using their time wisely; particularly when planning to a face target of such pressing urgency.

Though, at this point, anything to drive her focus away from Sae's palace was welcome. As must as she wanted to save her sister, the reality of her distorted heart was, at times, too much for Makoto endure.

It was certainly much easier to alleviate the tension she felt, when she was throttling shadows with practiced ease.

Not since awakening Johanna for the first time, had Makoto expended so much energy fighting in the Metaverse. Sweat beaded from her pores as she landed the killing blow on the last of their enemies. She closed her eyes, concentrating on each depleting droplet; as if it were every last ounce of stress seeping away from her body.

Makoto hadn't been relying on her Persona much throughout their fights, but instead focusing on close combat. With all that was plaguing her mind, she wasn't sure she could handle the mental exertion of using Johanna, and kept her fists raised.

She had always favoured a more aggressive fighting style in the Metaverse, an inverse of the obedient honour student image tied to her outside. Yet, today her movements were particularly wild and erratic, fuelled more by adrenaline than technique.

She wasn't taking the time to analyse enemies or exploiting their weakness as might normally be expected. She stepped forward without a second thought. At times, even seeking out battles with enemies that could have been avoided.

It was oddly careless of her, a habit they couldn't afford to fall into the Casino. If it wasn't for the sheer strength advantage they possessed over their opponents, any mistake she made could have been fatal.

It hadn't gone unnoticed by Joker, who quickly pulled her from the party, calling on Noir to replace her.

Once Makoto had stepped back, with nothing else to do, nothing left but her thoughts, she began analysing their enemies, offering her teammates advice to capitalise on as normal.

The task was menial, a momentary distraction for her. She could take comfort in what was familiar, pretending that there weren't larger, more terrifying problems outside of what she was focused on.

They made even the depths of Mementos seem much smaller.

When the group dispersed for the evening, a chattering Futaba and Morgana making their way towards the Yongen-Jaya line, Ren lingered behind, watching her closely.

Tension cramped Makoto's muscles, overtly conscious of his line of sight weighing upon her. She wanted nothing more than to slip away without a word, but his concern was too palpable to believably ignore.

"Ren? Is something the matter?"

Shouldering his bag, Ren's head nodded towards the train station, motioning for her to follow.

"Come on."

.

There was something about the attic in Leblanc that could always set Makoto's mind at ease.

From the onset, she had been welcomed into the cafe eagerly. Never shielded away by low, whispered voices, or sharp glares.

There was a quaint familiarity about the room. Something liberating in the scattered, empty chairs and cluttered desk; knowing it was here that they, the Phantom Thieves, had gathered to take down some of the city's most powerful criminals.

It was a fitting stage. Somewhere neglected and shut out. Judged on a cursory glance, without any care taken to recognise closely what was held within.

It was there that Makoto had finally felt in touch with herself. As though she finally had the power to exert control in her life. Not someone looked down upon or coerced in to doing favours.

It was soft curls of hair, the spices lingering in his breath. It was textbooks and study notes piled up amongst infiltration tools. It was shy stolen kisses on a worn couch, warm caresses and softly whispered words.

The same couch where they had learnt so much of one another, was where he sat now; arms open and beckoning her forward.

Suddenly conscious of how tired she felt, Makoto accepted the offer. She nestled in beside Ren, fitting comfortably into the plains of his chest. Exhaling lowly, his hand shifted to sift through her hair. Lazy, drugging caresses.

The temptation pulled at her, to simply snuggle up and forget the rest of the world; to let time to fade into nothing.

But, she couldn't.

Makoto knew that Ren was leading her on gently. That at any moment he would find the words to lay out everything she was trying to bury. This was just a means of lowering her defences.

In anticipation she spoke first.

"You don't need to worry about me." Makoto broke after a moment, her head shifting from its cushion against his body. "There are much more important matters at hand-"

The words faltered on her lips as Ren rose his hand.

"Makoto." Ren instructed firmly. "Look at me."

Makoto glanced down, tentatively. Unnerved by the prospect of meeting Ren's gaze. It was disarming how easily he could read her, as though the mask she covered herself with was useless.

The Third Eye.

Ren was well-versed in discerning between what was real and what was not. It was an ability that had been an integral part in toppling many of the palaces they'd ventured before.

In such close proximity, avoiding his gaze was difficult. It was a deliberate, conscious effort, one that would only reveal she had something to hide.

Regardless of her action, she was trapped.

It would be foolish of her to think that she could deceive the leader of the Phantom Thieves.

That feeling of defeat and helplessness was becoming painfully familiar to Makoto as she eventually relented, eyes lifting to catch his own. Though, the soft pools awaiting her reflected sincerity and compassion, her momentary dread abating.

"It's important to me." Ren insisted. "With what we're about to do, I need to know that you're in your right mind. You're our advisor, after all."

Makoto's glance trailed downward again, sagging further under the burden she shouldered. His hand lingered there, squeezing gently, the pressure seeming to alleviate the load.

"I know Queen. She's proud, and strong, and always sure of herself. She's not someone who is easily shaken." Ren's own gaze lifted, bashfully, as he spoke so fondly of her. The love and admiration he felt apparent.

"You can't lose your way like that in Mementos and pretend carry on as if everything is fine."

Makoto's head dipped, a reluctant nod.

No matter the hardships facing them in the real world, how scared they may have felt, they rarely affected them with the same intensity into the Metaverse. If anything, they; along with their Persona, determination and will to rebel; imbued them with the courage and strength to fight.

For the power they lacked, they possessed infallible strength of heart.

For her to carry doubts into the Metaverse, it would be a detriment not only to herself, but the entire team. Joker had recognised as such and pulled her out of the fight. He had stayed behind, wanting to take the time to check on her.

"If something's troubling you, you shouldn't keep it from the rest of us. I know things are stressful right now, but you need to stop burdening yourself."

Ren's fingers collected each side of her face, gently coaxing her towards him. Bangs over their foreheads tangling; their eyes a deep, earnest link.

"We're all in this together." He reassured softly, breath mingling with hers. "We've done everything we can. We're going to save Niijima-san."

"That's... That's not all I'm worried about though." She answered, voice similarly lowering "What about you?"

"About me?" Ren blinked; blank expression etched across his face. Makoto sighed. For all the care and selflessness he extended towards the others, he rarely considered his own well-being.

"You heard what Akechi said. What if we haven't prepared enough?"

"Makoto... I'm sure it will all work out. I trust you. All of you. I am comfortable putting my life in your hands. You've never led me astray before."

"You're not going to get rid of me that easily." He smirked. "Who'd lead the Phantom Thieves without me? Morgana?"

Laughter peeled from her throat, imaging the boost to proud thief's ego such power would bring; relishing in the opportunity to order Ryuji around.

The feeling was pleasant, carefree.

"Ren?" Makoto whispered, after a moment, her head dipping back beneath his shoulder. "Can I stay here? Just a little bit longer? Sis won't be coming home again tonight, and I..."

Even when her voice had already been faint, Makoto trailed off, afraid to put words to the fear eating at her insides.

In that place, she would be alone. Trapped, steadily engulfed by thoughts of her sister, slaving away on a case that was slowly plaguing her heart.

"Of course." Ren answered, cupping the back of her head. "Stay as long as you want."


End file.
